You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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