But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
