What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
