my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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