Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
