Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
