dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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