Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
