I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
