I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize