Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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