I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
