my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
True strength comes from lack of pants
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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