oh god the rape fog is back!
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
