Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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