6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
