no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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