hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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