Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
