...so i touched it.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
