it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
