Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
