I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
That's how pantless uber rides happen
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