Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
where are my pants?
in the oven.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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