she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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