sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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