I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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