She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
