I wish I only lived at night.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
