How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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