It's just like the Real World with babies
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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