You don't have asthma, your pregnant
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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