The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize