i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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