I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
