The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
