dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
