Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
