I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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