It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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