So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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