I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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