Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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