Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
