yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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