Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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