How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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