how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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