He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
your like the ambassador to my penis.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
