why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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