it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I FOUND THE LEGS
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
