I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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