We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
time to smoke my breakfast
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'd cum for enchiladas.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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