Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
