That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
