your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
