you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I love having hate sex.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Randomize
