How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
