When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
