Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
